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People get kicked out of bands. It happens. The Beatles nixed Pete Best because Ringo was a superior drummer. Metallica got rid of Dave Mustaine because only two very low IQ rageaholic jackasses are allowed in a band and they already had James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich.

But sometimes people are kicked out of bands for absolutely stupid reasons. Here are five of the most ridiculous band firings.

Remember the Pixies. The daddy of indie surf rock bands that whipped up a genre so unique and badass that without its existence, songs like “Where Is My Mind” and Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” would have never existed. They were undoubtedly a fun, talented, and influential bunch. But it always felt like they were a bit…precious. Somehow a little too cool for school. They had a group aesthetic that said “Not caring is cool.”

Now, I might be totally wrong. I don’t know the band, but I certainly don’t seem wrong. When the band disbanded in 1993, lead singer Black Francis called lead guitarist Joey Santiago to let him know the Pixies were no more. Then he sent faxes to the rhythm section, David Lovering and Kim Deal. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, but that’s not what the story’s about.

The Pixies recently got back together and replaced bassist Kim Deal with bassist Kim Shattuck, formerly of the Muffs. Things were going great. The band was touring. Then, after one leg of the tour ended, Shattuck got a call from the manager that things weren’t working out. Shattuck believes it might have been due to the fact that the other Pixies are more introverted, and pointed to a show at the Mayan Theater in LA where she did a stage dive.

In a Rolling Stone interview, she said, “I know they weren’t thrilled about that. When I got offstage, the manager told me not to do that again. I said, ‘Really, for my own safety?’ And he said, ‘No, because the Pixies don’t do that.’”

Now maybe that’s not true, but if you listen to Santiago’s interview, it’s not hard to believe. He claims it was impossible to fire her in person because everyone had gone home after the show. Also no one faxes anymore.

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Motley Crue

Vince Neil sings maybe 30% of most songs. He would just run out of breath after 1-2 words of every verse. It actually feels like watching a really bad SNL skit.

The band takes rotating breaks after every 2-3 songs, so they’d have these weird intermissions with really stupid skits and acts and just garbage. One was a 10 minute long Tommy Lee drum solo, so that wasn’t so bad - the rest were just awful.

"Little People" aren’t automatically entertaining. Sorry, you can’t just throw 10 people with dwarfism on stage and expect everyone to forget they came to see a rock show.

They consistently live up to their unprofessional reputation by delaying the show by an hour or two. Secondly, someone needs to fire the genius organizer at one of their venues who decided to do 45 minutes of “show your tits cam” on the jumbotron. Except no woman under 50 was into it. So there were a whole lot of very saggy, pruny and visibly fake breasts belonging to very haggard looking women that the rest of the audience was subjected to.

MGMT

Basically because they wrote the first album, full of synthy hooks, essentially just to get a record deal. They never intended to sound like that as a band but the album became so popular that now they’re stuck playing songs they’ve always hated. They think everyone who likes “Kids” is an idiot, and they play that way onstage. It’s pretty damn unprofessional.

They show up late, smoke cigarettes and bullshit their entire sound check like they couldn’t give a single fuck, and then go on to give a performance that makes The Black Eyed Peas performance at the Superbowl look like Michael Jackson’s Superbowl performance.

It would have been better if they just put a CD in a boom-box and walked off the stage. The singer acts like he’s half asleep. Everyone seems incredibly disinterested in doing what they are doing. Heck, this attitude was close to the height of their popularity, so I can only imagine things have gotten worse. 

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Ryan Adams, alt-country songwriting machine and Bryan Adams-hater grew up under the influence of legendary Minneapolis band – the Replacements. He probably calls them “The Mats” and everything. Real high level stuff. So he must have been mighty bummed when Replacements lead singer Paul Westerberg said Ryan Adams “needs to have his teeth kicked in.”

That’s apt to put anyone in a cranky mood, and sure enough, when Ryan Adams took the stage that night, things almost immediately seemed kooky. The normally chuckle-worthy singer barely spoke for the first hour of the set. When he finally did, it was only to do one of three things: complain about Paul Westerberg wanting to kick his teeth in, complain about the shitty reviews his opening act received in the local press, or complain about the sound of the guitar amps. It was the latter of those three issues that finally made the fussy troubadour flee the stage.

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See, instead of calling it a night at that obvious stopping point, Ryan Adams returned to the stage with an acoustic guitar in tow, and he stayed there a long fucking time. The final song count was a whopping 28, which makes for a long night even under normal circumstances.

When you add in even more chatter about Paul Westerberg and a really sad monologue about wanting to go home for Christmas, everyone but the most die-hard fans of Ryan Adams or train wrecks stayed for it all. I left almost as soon as the acoustic guitars came out.

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Something about Ryan Adams and soul-crushing boredom must not mix, because his return trip to Minnesota didn’t go a whole lot better. Once again, the show was plagued with sound problems. After just 70 minutes, the cranky songbird announced he was playing one final song and then bolted. His exit was so swift that many in attendance refused to believe the show was over until the house lights came up and everyone started booing.

Legend says Ryan Adams is still haunted by the Phantom of Technical Problems to this date and is shooting a drunk kid for requesting him to play “Summer of 69” somewhere around the world.

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It’s time to talk about 50 Cent, I bet most of you didn’t see this coming since I’m a fan of him, be prepared I’ve got lots to say about him.

50 Cent is one of the many Grammy-nominated artists who underwent the “Daaaamn homie, in 03 you was the mannn homie, what the f**k happened to you?”syndrome. In these recent years, 50 Cent is to hit records what Jar Jar Binks is to the Star Wars franchise. Morbidly out of place. He can’t seem to make a hit reality TV show work either.

 

Let’s start at the beginning of 50′s fall, In 2007 is when he just seemed to start losing with the preparation of his 3rd studio album “Curtis”, he first made the mistake of choosing 2 Bad singles (Amusement Park & Straight To The Bank) to start out with, which caused his sales to go down, if it wasn’t for I Get Money & Ayo Technology, the album wouldn’t have cracked 500,000 and then the publicity of Kanye’s album Vs 50′s Album.

That also caused 50 Cent to lose badly, taking a loss in America but winning World Wide, after losing in America it seemed like America wasn’t feeling 50 like they did in 2003. The album also got criticized a lot because of how many features the album had, with mostly pop joints instead of that grimy stuff that we are use to from 50.

Not to mention the beef with Rick Ross, that he did not start but certainly did not finish. Rick Ross’s career has not been finished and he is by far one of most relevant rappers out right now. Fast forwarding to the mid summer of 2009, 50 decides to release “Ok, You’re Right” that was his attempt of getting another street single like he did with ‘I Get Money’ but the single wasn’t received so well as ‘I Get Money’.

After the sales, 50 Cent decided to get away from the spotlight and not release that much new material. Fast forwarding to 2011, 50 decides to release 14 freestyles for promotion of his former ‘Sleek By 50′ headphones. He received positive responses for most of the freestyles it seems like 50 got his old self back but, until he release’s the 1st single from his new album you can’t really tell if he’s got it back. If the 1st single does well, 50 will get out of Flop City and join the Winners Circle. Still he’s a good business man, and he should stop focusing so much on movies when in the process of making an album, I think that messes him up as well.

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From out-of-control drug habits and heated clashes of inflated egos to control freak girlfriends and pop culture irrelevance, change is something that is inevitable in the life of every band that hits hard without warning. But sometimes, artists try to beat change at its own game by confronting it and taming it by mixing up things and refreshing their tunes to be a progressive band rather than end up in Creed or Nickelback purgatory.

Unfortunately, more often than not, drastic fuckery with the band’s signature sound or lineup can often rustle the jimmies of loyal fans who prefer the original works of their now ex-favorite artist. Music snobbery is not atypical of the hipster generation, but sometimes it is better to look in the mirror and realize you’re no Radiohead or Incubus and stick to whatever the fuck got you famous in the first place.

METALLICA

There is a strict set of rules and regulations to which all metal bands must adhere, and falling afoul of those rules is tantamount to treason.

Metallica fell way out of line with those rules in 1996 when they released an album called Load.

It marked the beginning of the end for Metallica and their “core” fans, though. They also violated Headbanger Bro Code 101 by cutting their hair and wearing suits.

The thrash metal aesthetics that were already waning on their previous album were completely gone on Load. This was riff rock. Alternative music, maybe. It was bluesy, or some shit. Whatever it was, it wasn’t metal Metallica released a sequel to Load, which was called Reload with more of the same shit.

 

You’re still fine to hate them for killing Napster, having the most pretentious drummer in the history of music and the awful Some Kind of Monster documentary.

VAN HALEN

The Sammy Hagar-led version of Van Halen, or “Van Hagar,” is probably the most hated version of a popular band ever known. if you’re so inclined.

Replacing David Lee Roth, Hagar didn’t just bring increased record sales to the Van Halen fold; he brought a completely different style.

Van Halen 2.0 progressed from being a rock band to a Coca Cola commercial rock band (codeword for a closet pop band).